16 days

As we brought our new baby home from the hospital I was so in love with this little guy. In fact, I hated that I loved him so much because now I became a worrier. I don't like to worry. I tend to air on the side of being under cautious because I just don't want to be a mom that worries about silly things. I didn't want to be the crazy mom bringing her child to the doctor for every little thing. This would later come back to bite me in the butt. I remember when Greysen was 8 weeks old we decided it was time for him to sleep in his crib. I was terrified! A couple I had known had just lost their baby to SIDS so this was a very real fear of mine. I remember telling God, " I don't want to live in fear and I don't want to fret over my baby, I want to ENJOY him!" I remember so clearly God said to me, "He belongs to Jesus. He is yours until the Lord decides to take him and its up to God when he does. No amount of worry or over-protectedness will keep him from dying." From then on I released him to God and made it a priority to not fear over the loss of my children because it was nothing I had control over. As the weeks went on Greysen was fairly healthy. He was eating and pooping great. He was having some episodes of projectile vomiting but the doctor assured me it was probably due to my body producing too much milk which was causing him to eat too much too quickly. When Grey was 2 months old I returned to college. At 4 months old I started implementing formula and by 6 months old he was completely formula fed. This is when things started to take a turn. Everytime I took Greysen in for a well baby check-up I always marked the box that said "do you have any concerns?" I would explain that it seemed difficult for Greysen to have a bowel movement. The doctor would say it was just normal constipation and that its normal for some kids to go only once a week. I wasn't convinced but I thought "These doctors know more than me, I respect their decisions, I don't want to be a crazy mom that insists something is wrong when their isn't." We were instructed to put mineral oil in his bottles and add benefiber too. I should have bought stock in benefiber because he went thru a costco sized can each month! At about a year old we decided to switch doctors because I didn't like how the doctor dismissed my concerns so easily. Dr. Gunville was my husbands doctor as a child so I figured he was getting up there in age and was ready to retire because what else could explain a doctors reason to ignore a constant complaint??? We switched to Dr. Tapia at The Childrens Clinic where the atmosphere and care was a night and day difference! Dr. Tapia listened to our concerns and assured us that Greysen probably just had chronic constipation and to continue giving Greysen the benefiber. FYI mineral oil should NOT be given for long periods of time because it inhibits the absorbtion of minerals and nutrients. That would have been awesome to know from Dr. Gunville who had us giving it to Greysen for over 4 months! So again we went along with the doctors orders even though it seemed like nothing was helping. At about 16 months old things really took a turn again when I realized Greysen hadnt pooped in 16 days! I remember pulling into our church parking lot to meet my husband. I decided to change Greysens diaper and thats when I saw huge lumps in his stomach. I remember crying and thinking something isn't right! I immediately called the doctor and of course had to wait for the on-call doctor to call me back. After telling her the story she tells me he is probably fine and to just continue giving him fiber. He did finally go because I would do everything I could to get that waste out of him. I remember thinking "This MUST be poisioning his little body!" I just cried and felt helpless and frustrated. Once he would go it would feel like I didnt need to take him to the doctor because EVENTUALLY it would come out. It wasnt easy and sometimes took a long time, but eventually he would poop, even if that meant waiting 16 days. The doctors didnt seem concerned about him not having a bowel movement for 16 days but I did finally convince them to refer Grey to a specialist. So, reluctantly, they referred him. And again, I felt like a crazy mom asking to see a specialist when clearly, in their minds, Greysen just needed a better diet and more fiber.